Wit

Laughter Is Good Medicine

10 Dollars is 10 Dollars

Bill and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year and every year Bill would say, “Martha, I'd like to ride in that airplane.“ Martha always replied, “I know Bill, but that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars.“

One year Bill and Martha went to the fair and Bill said, Martha, I'm 81 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance.“ Martha replied, “Bill, that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars.“

The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 10 dollars." Bill and Martha agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't.“ Bill replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but 10 dollars is 10 dollars.“

I Asked God

I asked God to take away my pain. God said, “No.
It is not for Me to take away, but for you to give up.”

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, “No.
Patience is a by product of tribulations; it isn't granted. It is earned.”

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, “No.
I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.”

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, “No.
Suffering draws you apart form worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.”

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, “No.
You must grow on your won, bit I will prune you to make you fruitful.”

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, “No.
I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.”

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said, "Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.”

Author unknown

What Fell Out of the Bible
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" His mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
Author unknown

?

How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but the light bulb has to want to change.

In Memory Of

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungary Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but later in life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still as a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by is wife; Play Dough two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.

Author Unknown

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Bill and his wife Martha went to the state fair every year and every year Bill would say, “Martha, I'd like to ride in that airplane.“ Martha always replied, “I know Bill, but that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars.“

One year Bill and Martha went to the fair and Bill said, Martha, I'm 81 years old. If I don't ride that airplane I might never get another chance.“ Martha replied, “Bill, that airplane ride costs 10 dollars, and 10 dollars is 10 dollars.“

The pilot overheard them and said, “Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word it's 10 dollars." Bill and Martha agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was heard. He did all his tricks over again, but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Bill and said, “By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't.“ Bill replied, “Well, I was gonna say something when Martha fell out, but 10 dollars is 10 dollars.“

I asked God to take away my pain. God said, “No.
It is not for Me to take away, but for you to give up.”

I asked God to grant me patience. God said, “No.
Patience is a by product of tribulations; it isn't granted. It is earned.”

I asked God to give me happiness. God said, “No.
I give you blessings. Happiness is up to you.”

I asked God to spare me pain. God said, “No.
Suffering draws you apart form worldly cares and brings you closer to Me.”

I asked God to make my spirit grow. God said, “No.
You must grow on your won, bit I will prune you to make you fruitful.”

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said, “No.
I will give you life so that you may enjoy all things.”

I asked God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
God said, "Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.”

A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it closely. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Momma, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" His mother asked. With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

It is with the saddest heart that we must pass on the following news. Please join us in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungary Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, The Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The gravesite was piled high with flours.

Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but later in life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very “smart” cookie, wasting his dough on half-baked schemes.

Despite being a little flaky at times, he still as a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

Doughboy is survived by is wife; Play Dough two children, John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.